About Me

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NSW, Australia
I'm made it past 50! married for over half my life, have 3 kids all grown and I'm loving this part of my life.I was a nurse in my younger days but an unhealthy dose of rheumatoid arthritis put a damper on my career,so I'm at home with the internet.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

All quiet on the western front....almost

One of the givens for most couples when deciding to get married is having kidlets. When it doesn't happen easily and often even when it does , it becomes the be all and end all, The Holy Grail. Once the stork brings you one or many bundles that smell deceptively delicious, the world changes and life revolves around them ....feeds , soaking nappies,organic food, not a wink of sleep for yourself.

You can only imagine what they'll be like when they grow up,even when they start school ,It seems so far away that you forget that one day you'll be just a couple again. Who is that man that stomps about the place shouting " can you please keep child number 3 off the ladder and out of my toolbox!"...."Why is child number 1 sitting on child number 's 3's head?"......."Child number 2 is covered in paint...don't let her touch...ANYTHING"........"is that glitter in my socks?"

But eventually they grow......and leave home.

Each of the leavings has been hard for me as a mum....I'm an "I like to know everything about my kids" kind of mum, and an "I really like like my kids company" kind of mum......even if they drive me nuts and I'm hiding in my room....I come out eventually.

Chloe the eldest left home a young man of 17 to go interstate to study 3d.She was staying with my 72 yr old aunt and pretty lonely. I had the other 2 at home and kept busy and daily phone calls and knowing we were moving closer when the house sold all helped.The young man is now a young woman named Chloe and although we don't speak everyday we are still close.I think she needed that space to help make her life changing decisions.

Gemma didn't leave until she was 19 and went to live in the same sharehouse Chloe was in, we chatted on the phone,I visited and she came back home when her course was finished. She had so much stuff and I had my computer in her room and we sort of went back to how it was when she was 15,so she got a place of her own around the corner.She now has a partner and because she lives so close I see her every few days.

Danny decided at 17 he wanted to move to Qld and try for work there. We bought his car so he would have some money while he was looking.I was beside myself. Empty nest syndrome. He is very independent and I had to call him all the time.He didn't NEED me! what the hell? I was like a stalker, the feeling is very much like being dumped by a narcissistic boyfriend!!! After 3 months and a bout of what was probably swine flu, he headed home again.
Now he's off again. He's been accepted into the army as an electronic warfare operator/language specialist....secret squirrel stuff. I'm going to ask him every Christmas are aliens green or brown?

In a month I will have an empty house again.

I had a look at empty nest sites and found some advice..
stay in contact but don't make a nuisance of yourself.....ok....hmmm is ringing to see how the day went...everyday...a nuisance??

If you are finding it hard not to be emotional on the phone, then send an email instead.Ha ..I don't think this kid EVER reads my emails .Can I be your friend on face book? No.

Am I going to miss these things?
doors being left unlocked
dirty dishes piling up in the bedroom and then the sink,
wet towels left lying on the bathroom floor.
Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your dad?
Wasn't there any change?
Mum...make me a sandwich the kitchen midnight


Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.



  1. I'm not sure how I will handle it when both my Girls are gone. Most likely, it's going to happen this year. My 18 year old just got her driver's license and whe she took the car to go out the first time, I already felt a sense of loss.

    I'm a worrier at heart and I'm pretty sure a prescription of valium will be on order.

  2. I totally feel for you and I am dreading this happening next year when Holly goes to college. I will think I have gone deaf, having no one to speak to, except Jack who doesn't talk. There is only so much talking you can do with someone who doesn't speak. Shirley Valentine, here I come.

    I will need Facebook and Blogger more than ever! (((hugs)))

  3. I totally hear you. I'm very close with my kids.

    My oldest daughter has moved to Sydney, is pregnant and as I was reading your post I received a text from her telling me feels low and needs a hug from me. We speak regularly on the phone, which helps, and as much as I support her decision to be there, for her to be living on the other side of the world and not closer is something I dislike.

    Last year my younger daughter worked abroad for four months so I had an empty nest and I have to say it was a very strange feeling and partly why I started blogging.

    As parents, all we can ask for is that our offspring are happy and safe as they make their way in the world.

    From one mother to another, I send you a hug.

  4. Hm. I do those things... dishes in the bedroom, though I do leave my towels hanging over the side of the bathtub. lol... stalker. ;)

  5. Nari...I taught mine to drive...they got used to me hanging on to the door handle and seat and hitting the imaginary brake on my side LOL

    I try not to worry but its hard not to.

    Lyndy...hug back.((((lyndy)))) You will surely will miss Holly.
    shirley valentine LOL wonder what Jack will have to say about THAT!!!

    Bub..I cannot imagine having one so far away 1200km was bad enough. Dan says hes putting in for overseas posting as soon as he can...sigh. after 82 days at kapooka he will be home for a week then down in victoria for about a year for trainingso probably wont see him till his yearly home visit. I told him I'd catch the train downto see him...he said..."what for?" ha boys!!

    Dani.. clean your room pick up those towels ....mum says :)

  6. Beautiful post...and sad.

    I wonder how I'll feel with the whole empty nest thing.

    Reading about yours reminds me of friendships I have. I've had times where I wanted to know I was there for someone...that they could count on me. But then I start wondering...what if they don't want me around? What if I'm being a pest?

    It's hard to find the right balance.

    Then with my own parents, sometimes I feel rejected by them. Then other times, I wonder if they're feeling that way about me.

  7. I've never grown up and if I was to teach little Dill Y one thing and one thing only, it would be "never grow up". It's okay to get older but I think it's important not to grow up and see the world through a child's eyes. Wow, for a brief moment there, I was kind of making sense. What a weird feeling that was!

  8. So according to your limerick... Almsot Hubs shouldn't be a pest until AFTER the kids are out of the house?

    I'll have to fill him in on that one... -J

  9. Hm. I do those things... dishes in the bedroom, though I do leave my towels hanging over the side of the bathtub. lol... stalker. ;)custom logo design


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