G-growths

I'm a little behind now, have been unwell with an arthritis flare, getting back on track now .

The universe has a sense of humour I think.Freckles, warts, pimples, skin tags.

What is with skin tags, don't you just want to rip em off if you see one? I can't help looking at them,they rarely stay still.I  want to grab the tweezers....and scissors....and SNIP.

They always remind me of that scene with John Candy playing Uncle Buck when he goes to the school about his niece for a meeting with the assistant principal, she's  got this big  hairy mole on her face:

Anita: I'm Anita Hoargarth.
Uncle Buck : [Staring at it] I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming." I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!

Hahaha I miss John Candy.

When I went to school we were sure frogs gave you warts, or boys. We had to hold hands with boys for compulsory dancing lessons more often than we handled frogs,so I'm guessing it was the boys.

I had one on my hand for years, it got huge .I did the wart paint and bandaid over a bandaid with a hole in it thing and eventually it came off.Then the darn thing grew back and brought friends, so I did it again, got rid of the big one and it left taking the friends with it.

I was so glad I had no freckles, or very few. The kids with lots of them had to endure the "join the dots" jokes.There were endless recipes passed around for fading them...to this day I believe lemon juice works?

In highschool  it was hair and pimples. What the hell? Hairy legs, eyebrows, underarms........................nether regions...........now that was a surprise!!! And pimples. ohh those buggers right on the tip of your nose....on school photo day. And the one at the edge of your lip, tiny tiny little thing , but squeeze it and a giant plug finds its way out of that tiny hole and the pain  brings you to your knees...like childbirth without the involuntary pushing..

Then there's the weird growth on your brain that makes you want to be with boys and go out and drink alcohol and eventually marry one.

Which leads to  a really large growth.

which has growths of it's own and these ones are parasites.

Some people have their growths removed, fixed, groomed or they are just lucky and don't have any

new freckles, stretch marks........plantar warts,now there's a new torture. pre cancerous skin lesions, they cut those suckers out.  Ask for a skin check? be prepared for scalpel and stitches.

I'm going to pretty them up though and get this etched permanently, the more the merrier I reckon.

                                                  The universe is hilarious ......... tears of laughter!!!!