Lord God Les

This is an actual conversation in the wee hours of the morning between my friend Kez and I, we're often up in the wee hours chatting away till we get sleepy.

Thanks Kez, you're making Les good blog fodder.

Facebook chat :

Kez and I are chatting when she pops up with

kez-HI LES

me-hes god

no ..wait..not god

good

Kez- HE"S GOD!!!!!!!!!

I am glad somebody is

me-hahahaha

kez-go Les

me-lol

bahahahahaha

Even better than Lord Les

Kez-good god..if he were god.............

That'sit

Les is a god from now on.

Does he want extra arms or an elephants trunk ?

me-he says extra arms would be nice the trunk he has thanks

bahaha

kez-Bahahahaha

telling tales eh Les

me-Mmm

Lord God Les..he's bossy enough now!

Kez- Our father who art in Harden doesn't have the same ring to it

me-hahahah.....................................(I'm speechless)

Kez-Even 'there is no god but Les"

me-he kinda likes that

Kez-nope

"With our Les we make the world" dunno if the buddhists will fall for that

me-lol

Kez-OK then

There is no God but Les

Now sit back and prepare to have the Islamicist Jihad creeping across the lawn come september

I'll worship you when you are martyred LES!!!!

What should I pray for?................. thinking......thinking........

Lady Muck

Apparently I'm not keeping hubby in the style to which he thinks he should be accustomed.

He wants to be Lord Leslie,right on his licence, banking card, medicare and credit card .

Lord Leslie, God help us .

I found Highland Titles,there he can purchase his own Highland Estate that will entitle him to be Lord or Laird of his very own Scottish estate from just £29.99, now I don't know what this is in Australian dollars but it seems like a small price to pay for the respect/giggles he will gain.

not Les

It will buy him 1 square foot of land which he can actually stand on and have his photo taken should he wish to pay a visit as Lord of Glencoe. He could spend 100 pounds and get a 100 square feet and then he could pitch a tent there for a few days. A few days in a tent in the Scottish highlands? That sounds cold and quite probably wet.

If he pays double, we can have adjoining estates. I can just see us in our adjoining square foot plots, my arse would probably encroach on Lord Les's land and he'd make me pay a tresspass fine.

I thought hard about my Scottish knowlege, seeing as I have a Scottish great grandfather... Alexander Naylor
Birth1865, Lanarkshire, , Scotland .parents: John Naylor and Norah Buchanan

This my Scottish knowledge :

Its mountainy...highlands..I get it.

Its cold and rainy.

They have a fantabulous accent.

Whisky!!!

Haggis, which I'm pretty sure I would not like.

Bagpipes and kilts and tartan..well they're in the picture.

Castles, those I like,though they look a bit hard to keep warm,I think I'd have to have a butler..wait a buttle buttles, I would need a chamber maid. Well if I had a castle and more than one metre.

What else?..hmm Loch Ness Monser and all the other monster less Lochs.

Sean Connery and Billy Connolly.

Whisky!!!

shortbread

The Proclaimers

Rod Stewart

the Bay City Rollers

Whisky!

och ay

What do you have to do to get a drink around here?

Getting a drink in a hotel in the earlier days of Australia was ,well difficult. It seems you had to be a bone fide traveller and/or a guest in the hotel to drink there. You could not get a drink on a Sunday, Public Holidays or before 11am and after 6pm. The emphasis of hotels was on providing food and guest rooms.

Today in Australia the emphasis is on the grog and some hotels never close.

An early liquor licensing law in South Australia (1839) stated that a publican was required to provide for "..a traveller and his horse, or a traveller without a horse, the horse of a traveller not becoming a guest of the house ..or any corpse which may be brought to his public house for the purpose of a Coroner's inquest." Any publican not providing such a service was committing an offence and liable to be fined up to 20 pounds.

So you could be down 20 pounds , if you didn't want a rotting corpse in you bar,20 pounds ,that made it hard to say no the corpse, thats a huge amount of money back then.

picsource

People snuck around getting their grog on the sly, and every town had a sly grog lady. Why were they were ladies I wonder/ the fairer innocent sex I wonder?

I feel for this guy, it was a Christmas gift!!

I don't care if you're a cop,Nope no food after 7....

Don't look under the beds!

It's for my liver!

Can I have whiskey with my water?

Not sneaky enough.

2 pot screamer?

WTF? Policemans fund???

cheers

Something everyone should know about "BO"

I've been unusually busy this week. We lost one of our own, a nephew my age.my husbands sisters son, he'd been unwell but it was still sudden, if that makes sense. It was a dreadful time for my SIL, made worse by her other son being in Vietnam on holidays with no way of getting in touch, so they held off the funeral until they thought he would be back. He returned on Monday and the funeral was Wed. That time between a death and the funeral is horrid, and so I really felt for them. We drove 5 hrs up the coast,attended the service and then drove back again.We weren't the only ones to do that though,everyone is so spread out. So Thursday I was flat out like a lizard,driving seems to take a lot out of me, later, not while I'm doing it. The service was simple and heartfelt and definitely worth the driving.

Last night I went out....don't fall off your chair. I took my younger daughters boyfriend's mum to the International Womens dinner in our local club. Guest speaker was Dr Feelgood (radio 3aw & girlfriend mag) aka Dr Sally Cockburn. She was really entertaining funny and down to earth, got a laugh and some food for thought health wise. I spoke to her after the event and she invited me to write to her regarding Chloe's surgery predicament. She's on a LOT of boards, so fingers crossed she may have some good advice. Oh and my friend and I had our pic taken with her for the local rag, if its anygood I'll post it up on Friday.

I've been fummaging through old newspapers again, I can't help it, they're so entertaining. Advertising is especially funny to me,there are no euphamisms in old ads, no mistaking what your buying or why you need it.

Biatch!!!

Just in case you want to ,you know ,move things along while you're out

Let me check my diary....ahhh..... busy that day.

someone keeps this advertiser awake at night.

Lost me!! But it works, apparently.

While you're down there....

This'll fix it....

Wonder if they're Nigerian?

my life in film

My mind is like a sieve I tell you... How could I have forgotten...I got an award..You know I love them! The awesome Vicki who loves frogs over at glitterfrog thinks my blog doesn't suck ...that's so cool Vicki, thanks heaps. Vicki's blog is great,always a fun read,and funnily enough not about frogs! Go take a look, tell her Bee sent you....she won't give you anything, either will I.......... but tell her anyway ....now back to the blog post....

Movies have been in the background fabric of my life and probably say as much about my upbringing and who I am today as much as anything else.

The first time I remember seeing a movie was in 1967, I was 4 and my sister was new .I was with another child my age but cant remember who now, the two mums went shopping for the duration of the movie and were there again before the end of the movie.I remember them coming in and thinking NO NO NO NO ...NOT GOING TILL ITS OVER!!! It was Snow White,the german dubbed english version from 1965 .It was magical, the dark room was scary but when the movie started OOOOOHHHH.

Mary Poppins about 1967ish. I remember a scene with Dick Van Dyke drawing on the footpath with chalk and then the magic to get to the place he drew.

The Love Bug 1968 at the drive in for my birthday. It was very exciting both the movie and the drive in !!! Blankets, pillows, eating food in the car.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks 1971 for my 8th Birthday, I got my one and only birthday party that year too...I must have been a model child in my 7th year!

Herbie rides Again ..Drive In,1974 ..........I hope this was for my sisters birthday but knowing Dad "when you're on a good thing stick to it"..... It was probably for me.

Freaky Friday 1976........This was for my sisters birthday, I still liked the movie.

Muppet Movie 1979. I was 16 and babysitting for my neighbours kids,they were so cute and I used to drag them everywhere,It was a good excuse to see the movie. Kermit on a bicycle !

Meteor 1979...saw this one night with my friend Vicki, we caught the train in and I was convinced we had to leave before the end of the movie to catch the last train back.So I dragged Vicki out, got to the station to find there was an hour and 20 minute wait for the train. I had read the timetable wrong. I never did see the end of the movie until recently.

The Rose vs Amytyville Horror debacle of 1979

My 16th birthday with girlfirends at the time D and L, we decided to go see The Rose for my birthday. L's mum had booked the tickets over the phone for us as it was the first day it opened.We had to get there by, say, 4pm to pay and pick them up but didn't get there till 5. We lost our tickets. There was then "what to see?" For the time we had before getting the train back there were 2 choices, Amytiville Horror or Black Stallion. It was my birthday so I chose Amytyville Horror,which was the wrong choice apparantly as L' spat the dummy and high tailed it home vowing never to speak to me again.(she did for a couple more years). My other friend and I watched the horror movie, but it was hard to enjoy thinking I should have agreed to the horsey movie.

Vic and I again this time 79/.80 and not a birthday ....I think we'd read the book and decided to see the movie The Champ at the drive In. By this time I had a car , a 68 Morris mini 1100 that didn't like rain. It rained. We got 5 minutes into the half hour drive home when the heavens opened and Ethel...that was the said minis's name......stopped.Late.At. Night. No mobile phones in those days. We had to wait for it to stop raining, dry the distributer and spray it with WD40.We weren't worried about being attacked we were worried about getting home by our agreed time. Our parents were fearsome.

This is the movie I didn't see. Dressed to kill. My aunt had hired the movie .The movie starts with a shower sex scene,my Dad say's we're not watching this rubbish, get's up and turns the TV OFF!! We are all just sitting there.......... This 1980.. I was 17! My aunt waited for him to go to bed and watched it later!

1981 Dating my now husband, we headed to the drive in .. double feature ,Cheech and Chong Still Smokin' and Life of Brian ...do de do de do de do de do All..ways look on the brigh..et siiide of life de do de do de do de do........

'83 now a new bride..an all night dusk till dawn marathon at the drive in....Friday 13th 1 2 3 and a couple of other movies...I lasted 3 movies, think I slept through the third......and it got cold and we ran out of food.......and we went home.

Not long after that we got beta video machine and hired movies to watch at home. shhh some we taped off the TV,back then there was a huge hue and cry of it being illegal to do. We bought a big rear projection tv in 1986 and I remember the first movie we saw on it was Neverending Story.I think movies didn't go to video until at least a year later back then. We rarely went to the movies unless it was to take the kids....I really like Aladdin....hmm Little Mermaid wasn't bad either...

Kids getting more manageable so in '97 took them to the Drive In, George of the Jungle was showing on one of the twin screens,the other movie was My Best Friends Wedding, Gem and I tried watching both movies, Gem kept asking for food and drink so we could see more while getting food .We took them to the Drive In a few times ,wanted them to experience it before they all disappeared. I think to this day there is one....only one...drive in left in Australia.

Harry Potter series.. I think 2005 is the last time we "took" the kids to the movies, taking them to an old ,and I mean old theatre in Cowra NSW. The seats were the hard old brass sides and flip up cushion ones where you need the muscle of Conan to push it down ,hold it down somehow with your knee while you flip and sit, if you miss the seat flips back up. The kids take themselves now and have taken me(how did that happen??) once or twice!!

My hubby thought it was a great idea to buy a set of these seats to use for the projector screen, so we have a row of 3. He recovered them in black ,stained the wood and they look gorgeous....but why would you want to sit in them for 2 hours? So we made him put the lounge back and the movie seats look pretty under the window.Useless but pretty.

So.. I haven't been to the movies for ages,last one was The Women, with Gemma..bloody hell I just googled, that was 2008.....

I need grandkids so I can drag them to the movies with me so I won't look like a loser watching kids movies.

I accidentally forgot

Well my nanopomo commitment went by the wayside.

Excuse #1 My daughter borrowed her own laptop back

Excuse #2 When I got said computer back....I.....I.................I........dammit I got nuthin.

I am about 3 days behind.I'll do them as a meme to catch up.

Thursday, March 3

How far away do you currently live from where you were born? How did you get there?

I live south west of Sydney about 4 hours from where I was born.It gets cold enough to snow here in winter...but it never does. Getting hit in the face by icy rain is as close to snow as we get. I got here the long way round. After we married and had the eldest we lived down the south coast of NSW for about 4 yrs ,had 2 more kiddies then headed up to Queensland and spend 10years up there in various places before heading down here.Somewhere in all the moving we also lived In Wallerawang near Lithgow. The kids saw snow just up the road from there in a place called Sunny Corner.

This is where we live now...guaranteed a parking spot.

The scenery makes up for the lack of a shopping mall.It's a quiet place, pretty and easy to live in.

Friday, March 4, 2011

What's your favorite thing you love to waste time with right now? A guilty pleasure.

Blogging, It's guilty because I spend so much time here, not always writing, but reading and thinking up witty repartee for commenting,though it's rarely witty.There's always someone pesky wanting a cuppa or food, or a lift or....something..so when I get " what are you doing? are you on that blog again?" its....."noooooooo.........maybe.........whats your point?"

photo source

Monday, March 6, 2011

What's one thing that scares you right now, and why should you make a real effort to face that fear and do it anyway?

Getting up on the dance floor to dance at a party. I just recently made the effort.I spent so long walking with a stick and only able to wear flat shoes that now I'm mobile again and actually own a pair of heels again, I should get up and do things.Including dancing.I'm just used to not doing things that involve moving and effort.And I'm of the larger variety of woman,so it feels a little confronting and scary. Last saturday we went to a birthday function...I got up and joined in for Nutbush City Limits....hubby spent the song at the table with his eyes covered. ............

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Do you have a good memory for some things and not others?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Do you have a good memory for some things and not others?

I remember things from years ago but I can't remember what I just opened the google search page for 2 seconds ago.

here's a post on what I cant remember I can't find my and these two posts are what I do remember memories more memories

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What's your favorite word?

Now we're up to date. My favourite word is accidental. So many things in life are accidental. I accidentally met my husband. He was chatting up my friend.

I googled accidental.....omy, heres some of the results

accidentaly unnasisted homebirth......ouch

accidentally shot......ouch

accidental pirate..........???

accidental pregnancy......ooops.....ouch

accidental inventions...

accidental billionaires.........how does that happen?

accidental spy.....those two words are contradictory,I'm sure?

accidental sexiness ....

I was looking through old newspapers for my family tree when I came across an article dated 18 June 1915 with the heading SUICIDE and ACCIDENTAL DEATH.It was from a Coroner's hearing about the deaths of Mr George Wiscombe, florist 45yrs and Edith De Vere Hunt widow,39. Mr Winscombe had told the witness that he was incurably ill and headed to bed. Edith checked on him some time later and found him dead. She swooned into a faint.On coming to ,she telephoned a friend of Mr Wiscombes who brought a constable.They found Edith in a swoon over the body and carried her out. When she came to she asked the witness to get her some Bromo-selzer.He went into the room where there were 2 bottles on the mantle and he grabbed one.He gave her a teaspoon in a glass of water ,She said there was too much water and added another teaspoon.Edith drank it down and immediately collapsed and was dead 3 or 4 minutes later.The Coronor found that Winscombe had committed suicide by poison in the Bromo-selster bottle and that Edith accidentaly consumed the same poison and died.

There you go, you wouldn't read about it, as they say...only you have.

Is the kitchen open? No , go away!

You know when you walk past some houses and the cooking smell wafts out and you just know theres something GOOD really, really GOOD on for dinner in there?

That's not my house.

Lots of people love cooking.Not me, but a lot do,look at your TV guide,they must do. We have Master Chef, Junior Master Chef,My Kitchen Rules, Conviction Kitchen,Ready steady cook,Iron chef, Alive and cooking,Food lovers guide to Australia,The Cook and the Chef, Hueys cooking Club,World Feast,Good Chef Bad Chef, I've missed at least 3 that I can't think of the name of right now and the list doesn't include the Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey offerings that are presented as specials or the fishing or camping shows.And then there's the morning TV shows that have cooking segments. WTF? these are only the ones on free to air...all 5 channels!!!

My kitchen is so small it's like solitary confinement.Seriously your bathroom is bigger than my kitchen.Two people can stand in there, 3 if you're very good friends , you can't pass one another without being intimate.

My fridge was in another room as it was too big to fit in,but it caught fire last month and died so I had to get a new one. The one I got I'm not sure it's mother would be happy it left home it's so small. I think it's shorter than I am.But I don't have to go to another room to get the milk,it fits a dinner plate on the shelf and a 2L juice bottle in the door,so it's a win.

When we first bought this house this room was was also the laundry,with a laundry tub where the fridge is. A kitchen sink was over a cupboard where the microwave is and the back door was where the sink is. That was pretty much it.Oh and a stove which fell apart.

I'm not really a fan of cooking,I can't see the point, it gets eaten and then there's all that washing up.....boring.... Blek.

To placate hubby I've occasionally had cooking binges and these are some of the purchases he's made on my behalf hoping to entice me into home made ,if not gourmet but maybe edible fare.

This sits in the bottom of the pantry............pfffft

Who eats first???

Lost...I don't know where...well If I did, it would't be lost...

corn save your hot finger thingys...I found ONE in the drawer.

Still in the packet.....

It's broken..Okay...

For the lefttovers ?

Until I can wiggle my nose like Samantha ,it looks like this family will have to suffer with one pot and whatever I can cook in the turbo oven.

whats for tea? crinkle chips and tomato sauce butty's?

I joined NaBloPoMo,it's a group of bloggers who have committed to updating their blogs once a day for an entire month. I'm not sure I can keep up, but like the idea of having a prompt.

Todays blog promt had to use the following words:

placate, boring, solitary, crinkle, and juice.