Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

new years resolutions?

1 .lose the lard..I am feeling like a sloth and looking like one too

2.. move more.. this might help move the lard

3 blog at least weekly and get my readership to 100.

We had a lovely quiet Christmas the last one before the twins :)

Christmas eve was spent at a chinese restaurant in Canberra with Chloe & Jess and Jess's family. A fun night ,we were all wearing xmas lights and hats , good food ,great company .

We always do a xmas display ,our home has a small frontage of only 5om,wide and is almost on the footpath, so it looks a lot. Our street had the most lights again this year so we retain the street sign that says Santa St, in red .


Chloe has finally written a post on her blog which I found really interesting and wanted to share Stereotypes

I started to write her a reply that was turning into a blog post so I thought I would shadow her post here.

Is there such a thing as being too girly or having too much pink? acress Jayne Mansfield apparently thought not...she had her house painted pink, with cupids surrounded by pink fluorescent lights, pink furs in the bathrooms, a pink heart-shaped bathtub, and a fountain spurting pink champagne.She also built a pink heart-shaped swimming pool. google her house, but have bucket handy hahaha

Seriously though , I do see what Chloe is getting at.You don't have to be uber feminine and over emphasise the feminine to be femnine, there is a lot in between.

I also see what she means about the dressing "16" there are a LOT of women out there dressing the same, trans or not. It's a style ,one Chloe or you or I might not like but hey life is short and if their life is caught short, they are hit by a bus whilst scantily clad in a micro denim mini, and corset top, they may not mind at all!!!

And truly to me that is what being trans is about...being able to be who you are, wether that girl is conservative in sensible shoes and lace collar,trendy,goth or uber-pink princess or cougar skanky.

It comes back to that problem in her first paragraph where she talks about being judged more harshly as a trans girl.....therein lies the problem..it's really not the pink or the hat.

Women judge other women harshly, there is a pecking order which seems to do with body weight, age, ethnicity and then transwomen last , and then there is the same judgements again somehow judged against the top tier of the outcome of the first judgments,so effectively transwomen are judged against Miss Universe!!!

And so we come to femininity..

Just after writing this I came across this add for Libra Tampons and a campaign to remove the ad. I agree it needed changing or removing. The Libra page has been swamped with arguing for and against and a whole lot of transphobia. I shouldn't be shocked but I am.

Libra tampon ad

I don't like the ad for various reasons

1 "Libra gets girls" only real women bleed? ahh beg to differ, I have a cousin born without ovaries , I myself have had a hyster and of course Chloe has no uterus..

2. Both those girls wanted to "win" at being the better girl and the bio girl resorted to nastiness, as that is what that was ,nasty. In the playground that behaviour would be called for what it is, bullying, usually on show in front of other girls to get a laugh.As a parent that sort of behaviour should be punished, not put on TV for a cheap laugh. Imagine a strong blonde girl in the playground and the freckled red head, and a bunch of other girls.......which girl ends up leaving the group and eating alone? Exactly the same thing.

3. The stereotyping idea that both those girls worth is in the mirror, lipstick, breast size etc,the competitiveness and bitchiness.do we all want to be represented like that?

I have read a lot of comments from people who can't see the problem with the add as its funny. Yes it is funny, if you are a drag queen, not if you are transgender, the problem is the public don't know the difference and think they are one and the same. In fact one drag queen has been nasty about it on the libra facebook site today, and I was shocked by the vitriol and nastiness that came out of her keyboard!!! Again with the judgement, telling a transgender girl that she didn't pass and would never be a whole woman...Where the hell does that come from?

Even arguments about why a drag queen was in the bathroom with the woman and that is why the public assume the girl is transgender .aAaaargh when is the worrying about what is under the skirt going to end??? What difference does it make to you? honestly? does it matter if you know or not?

I have just heard that the ad has been pulled in New Zealand and from facebook,so presumably will not hit Australian TV screens .

is it offensive? killerdee has a good read here and makes sense better than I can .

A win !!

More Meads

Sorry about that !

I'd been hanging out to share the news,but had to wait till the newlyweds did first of course.I was just about to go to sleep when my facebook wall popped up with their announcement.YES! Cats out of the bag now!!!Mind you I did let slip to a few people that didn't actually know Gemma or weren't in contact with other of her friends and family, me and secrets...not good.

Gemma is 11 weeks now, she found out at 4 weeks ,so it is going very slowly.

Its really been a whirlwind few months for them..and us. Stress mostly goes over my head these days, I still worry a little, but I've learned it's not going to change the outcome, but the young ones haven't so it's hard for them.

only 8 weeks ago :

A few weeks after the wedding Gemma came over later than I expected her and looked frazzeled,I asked what was up, she said "I don't know, but It took me ages to find my keys and I burst into tears". Hmmmmmmm....I told her the tears reminded me of when I was pregnant and didn't know yet. Later that evening ,she arrived back with Aaron a big big smile each and this:

A few days later ,morning sickness...... all day,hit with a vengeance and for Aarons 21st dinner, poor girl looked so pale:

FF another week, ultrasound :

DA TWINS :)

and just last week she is already showing.......

Mood swings abound +++. Surviving this, they will survive anything I reckon! Makes me a little teary to see them bicker though as it's only a few weeks ago they were in the bliss bubble.

I believe a lot of it on Gemma's part is twofold, feeling constantly nauseous and exhausted plus fear. Fear of losing them, doing the wrong thing and losing them, doing the right things and losing them,then the fear of not being able to cope with a twin pregnancy, of not being able to cope with twins when they arrive, the list is endless in her head I imagine, and this swirls around in her head as a constant distraction, and then Aaron taps her on the shoulder for some reason and ROAR....Aaron...DUCK...quick !!!I remember well the feel of the red fog and sound of white noise during pregnancy, it ends thank goodness and I hope that next week being her 2nd trimester beginning,that it will be the beginning of the enjoyable part of pregnancy.I do remember enjoying being pregnant for most of it.In the meantime Poor St Aaron as I have dubbed him, continues to smile and ignore until his real wife returns and gives him THAT smile again and not the "you did this to me " smile.

Me: Gem I think you might be aneamic, I saw you stand still for a sec when you got up, were you dizzy?

Gemma: No, I probably forgot what I got up for.......

ohhhhh there are so MANY but I best not print...........or I may be dubbed Poor Saint Bernadette

surprise sunday

In June I will be

Motherhood- a whine from 1992

I thought as I had entered the Aussie mums blogging comp, I 'd write a bit about mothering, when I was in the thick of it.

I recently found my old journal from when the kids were little,in this entry, Danny was 2 days until his 1st birthday,Gemma was 21 months, and Chloe 4 and a half.

18th June 1992

Here's a snippet :)

I was horrible to the kids all day today.

Have the flu, feel rotten, but I guess all the kids could feel was I wanted them away from me.The two bigger kids especially kept hanging around bugging me and wouldn't do ANYTHING I asked.

I think I set a record for screaming to day..amount and decibel level.We don't have many day's like today thank goodness. or I'd be in the nuthouse, the white van would be in my driveway....motor running.

Les didn't help any , grrr, if he's crook he just lays on the lounge ask's Gemma to get him a pillow, Chloe for a blanket and me for a cuppa in that simpery I'm dying voice....and stay's there for 2 days.

The day went like this:

6.30 am kids up, watch some TV

7.15 brekky ,then played and watched cartoons, me up and down for drinks ,food and the baby

10am Baby asleep

10.30 urgh Baby awake...cmon... normally I get 2 hours :(

10.45 may as well stay up,showered..great... scalding then cold, Les hosing garden fiddling with spray pressure.Looks like he is going to mow lawns..

Kids would not play outside,

didn't want to watch a movie ,

didn't want to play in room,

didn't want to do anything.

I yelled a lot till they went outside.I vacuumed, sorted out the washing and put away.Washed up from dinner last night and breakfast.Now...guess what...

12md...time for lunch...all back inside, fed and ...they stay inside.

1.30 a break to rest and breastfeed Danny for his nap , other two fighting and jumping around.

2.30 finally a rest of sorts while baby sleeps and kids finally happy to watch a movie.

3.30 went up the street to buy nappies

3.45.get dinner on.

5pm Chloe and Gemma in bath Les and I eat dinner.Danny in bath other two out.Trimmed Gemmas hair.

7pm Put bigger kids to be half an hour early.Funnily enough they seemed happy to go down.Probably sick of the yelling.

7.15 B'fed Danny, he crashed quickly.

7.30 AAAAH on my own. Made Les and I a cuppa.

7.35.Phone rings..Work,can I work night shift tonight? ....NO

8.30Gemma wet the bed ALREADY,I'm sure I took her to the loo before bed, have to get rid of that bottle. Changed her and put her back.

8.45 sit and watch some TV, write this journal up.Was going to go to bed, but Les tiling ensuite,so will stay up have a cuppa, watch Vizard & Midnight Caller then AAAHHH SLEEP

TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Hope the kids don't remember this one.

The kids don't remember it, though they do remember my yelling in general ....

chirpy

Slow couple of weeks,nothing of note to report,pretty unfunny really.Sold the last of the wedding bits and pieces,helped moved Chloe and Jess to the renovated big shed/grannyflat at Jess's parents. Seriously it is bigger than the living space at their flat.

To move them I had to drive one of these

when i normally drive one of these

I did ok, Chloe paid for insurance for the day...just in case...

I almost collected 3 cars changing lanes, luckily I had Gemma as the spotter.."MuuuUUUuuuuMM.....theres a CAAAAAR"

I don't know how, but am still not smoking :) , browsing youtube instead.....


During my browsing adventures of youtube while trying not to think about a cigarette, I came across a group I had totally fogotten about."Middle of the Road"

For me this was the sound of 1971,I have no LP's of this group. it was before my purchasing power , money was still in my future. Sally Carr's pretty voice was on the radio all day it seemed. They had a string of hits, these 3 my favorites.

Interesting trivia, Sally dated Sweet lead singer Brian Connolly! I wonder if they fought over the hairdryer?!!

see! the same hair!

I've entered the facebook circle of mums top 25 blogs,If you llike, can you vote for my blog here please. I have a link up on the side bar there, but you may not find me with that , you have to scroll...............................................right to the bottom. I can't win it, number 1 has over 12oo votes, but not coming last would be a be good look...........Ta Muchly

International Transgender Remembrance Day 2011

Today is the day we remember with sadness and horror the lives of transgender women and men, mostly women, who have been subject to so much homophobia and hatred that they were murdered.Obliterated because the person holding the gun, the knife or wielding the fist or blunt object could not see the person in front of them as a person,they could only objectify them and dwell on their perceived "wrongness" until they did the unthinkable. This memorial day started as an online gathering,I just read the TDoR is observed in over 185 cities in more than 20 countries, that's great, support and awareness are growing.


Today I stand with all the other transgender folk and their families and friends against this irrational fear and dehumanization that somehow gets into peoples heads loud enough that they think they can justify ridiculing, hurting , bashing, sexually assaulting and even murdering people whose outward gender expression doesn't match their expectation of how THEY think things should be.
Here in Australia things are not as bad on the murder front, but discrimination, bashings , yes, it happens here too.
The Tranznation survey was conducted this year by the La trobe University, is a report on the Health and Well being of Transgender people in Australia and NZ.The results are pretty predictable really. Overall the participants had poorer health ratings than the general population and the rate of depression was much higher , in fact one in four people reported suicidal thoughts in the two weeks before they completed the survey. 87.4%)had experienced at least one form of discrimination because of their presenting gender. A THIRD had been threatened with violence and almost the same number had received lesser treatment due to their name or sex on documents such as ID and almost a third had been refused employment or promotion. Just under a quarter had been refused services and 19% had been physically attacked. These numbers are just way too high. Australia has made some great inroads with anti-discrimitaion laws, the new passport law etc, but there is a hell of a long way to go, especially in the area of healthcare And we need to keep educating the public. Recently I saw Chas Bono on Dancing with the Stars in the USA and I was so disappointed to see some of the hue and cry against him being on the show. One comment was and angry tirade which basically boiled down to "thanks a lot,I shouldn't have to explain transgender to my children!!!"
well ...duh! I thought, but she was truly upset that she had to think about it at all.

So today I take a minute to think about how far we've come, how far we still have to go to get true equality and that these young men and women deaths are remembered .They are all someones sons, daughters, brothers ,sisters and lovers and unfortunately those murdered were often killed by members of their own families.
My wish is for all transgendered kids to be able to have a family photo like this

obama's in town

The US president has graced our shores...I will leave it to my niece Rhi to give you the heads up from her birds eye view in Canberra click and enjoy !

Other than that , not much happening, all quiet again.

I'm helping Chloe and Jess move from their flat to the converted garage at the back of Jesss parent's place,so they can save to buy their own place. I have to drive a big hiace type commercial van which should be interesting after driving the bubble car for 3 years!

I've picked up some childminding work, a few hours a week so I'll be able to afford a haircut soon :)