Tis sunday already

I can't believe how time is flying by, it's 2 weeks since the wedding!!! Not sure where the time has gone, chasing photos, and giving things back that I borrowed, sorting out what belongs to who...... funnily enough the accumulation in the spare room doesn't seem to be getting any smaller.

STOP THE PRESSES: I HAVE GIVEN UP THE CIGGIES, DURRIES,FAGS,COFFIN NAILS,BACCY......

I week now, no cigs. I've gone cold turkey, no cutting down or patches etc. The hardest was making up my mind to actually do it. I've smoked for 30 years, since I was 18. So its pretty much a part of who I am: Bernadette smokes, have an ashtray on the verandah!

It hasn't been as hard as I thought,but that doesn't mean I don't feel like one, at least once a day I wistfully think of the smoke rolling across my tongue.

I stalked a smoker at Aldi on friday, her smoke smelled so goooooood, I was creeping closer and closer to her, deep breathing , luckily she was on what seemed like the "I haven't had a smoke all morning " high and didn't notice my .......interest. But that's the only, ahem.....incident.

I liken it to selling the bassinet once I had counted my blessings and decided "enough! I want to wear high heels and not wear breast pads."

It's the same mindset:I''m done, end of an era, onto something else.

What suddenly made me decide? I look so unhealthy in the wedding pics,I don't look like me. I've had a rough 6 months health wise with infection and steroids, and it shows.(I sound so vain) It shows like it did on my mum. My mum died at 62 yrs old, and her mum before her at 61.Umm I see a pattern here.This is a pic of my lovely mum about 7 months before she died.

I've already had rhuematoid and its various meds for 15 years longer than mum did but it's over 10 years till I'm 60, it was the meds and infections and her chest from the smoking that did her in. Nan was a different kettle of fish, her demise was breast cancer, radical removal of the breast and then pneumonia, this is back in 1966 before chemo advances etc. but anyhoo I'd like to give myself an even chance here.

When one of your kids get married , there's the chance of new life ahead and the happy couple have given up the cigs to be healthy for trying to have babies ,and I look forward to any that arrive.

I want to be the fun nanna,


dragging the grandkids off to picnics and parks etc, can't do that if I'm hooked up to medical stuff.

So there you go, finally thought about my own mortality.

Once I get used to being a nonsmoker, I'll get stuck into healthier food and............ some excersise......sigh..

Now I have to find something to do with my hands other than smoke, it took up a fair chunk of time that hobby, so I've bought 3 small pieces of old funiture to restore. One is a really small hall table, half round shape with pretty turned legs. Its been painted black so I have to strip it back. Today I picked up a tea trolley , that wont be too hard to sand and restain and also a lovely old table. The table is a funny size, too wide for a hall table, too high for a coffee table but too low to sit at,I'm thinking it might be a sample of a bigger dining table.None of them are huge projects, other than some sanding, really, so that will keep my idle hands busy.

Les is trying to get me interested in the garden,so I might poke my head out there a bit too. My gardening up to now has been."oohh that will look nice here Les, dig there!"

Another thing I want to do next year is make button and bling bouquets ,I've been inspired by this one, so I''m collecting buttons and broken brooches and making silk and organza flowers over the next few months,so I can make these in various themes and colours

Which brings me back to weddings..."HA! I see how she did that"

Time for another gratuitous wedding pic !!!