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About Me

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NSW, Australia
I'm made it past 50! married for over half my life, have 3 kids all grown and I'm loving this part of my life.I was a nurse in my younger days but an unhealthy dose of rheumatoid arthritis put a damper on my career,so I'm at home with the internet.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Out with the old

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I don't usually make new years resolutions as I have a habit of ignoring them by about quarter past midnight. But this year I'll try harder,I'm on the downhill run to 50 and I'd like to be healthier,so my new years resolutions are thus:

Lose weight, which means eating less and moving about more. I'll try for half an hour of solid proper exercise every day,I have no exercise equipment so I'll have to get my lard arse out on the street and ......walk...............sigh.

Eat less crap, no more lollies ,chips and choclolate..or.... dammit .....icecream......well, a treat now and then would be fine....wouldn't it?

My mother died at 61 and her mother before her at 60,I'm hoping for a few more years than that,so I need to get on top of the blood pressure and keep the rheumatoid arthritis from doing any more damage. Humira has stopped the deformities and given me back my mobility,so I have to treasure that and make use of it. I've been in the "sick role" far too long. It's actually hard to get out of than I thought ,not only have I put limitations on myself but other people have too.

2011 will be my year for doing something new.I don't know what just yet, it'll come to me I hope! I'm at that age where my kids don't need me so much and are leaving or left the nest and there aren't any grandkids to fuss over.

When I grew up in the late 60's and 70's girls 'careers" were really only until they married and had kids,and then you worked for extra income,not so much a career,that came in the mid 80's.I only worked part time when the kids were little and then stopped when the arthritis became too painful to continue and I never went back. Motherly,domestic stuff was enough,too much sometimes and even though it was my main focus ,I still forgot stuff through the haze painkillers,like telling my youngest about sex...........(he figured it out)
So this year I need to find something for me.
Suggestions will be pondered upon ...........

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

could be worse

My fridge blew up! Not with a bang, but a stinky smoking slow burn.
I smelled something plasticcy and hot,I thought the laptop was going to overheat and turned it off,but I could still smell it.
I sniffed my way around the house and pinpointed the laundry,not the dryer,the washing machine or the powerpoints. It seemed stronger around the fridge but I couldn't see anything.Called hubby and he got up and had a look at the top,took the box that was sitting on top off,and smoke billowed. It stank. I can still smell it a few hours later.
On the top of the fridge is an electronic box that overheated, by the look of the bubbling mess it was just about to burst into flame. So it could have been bad,very bad, we have a lot of "stuff" stored next to the fridge and our house is 100yr old wood.Doesn't bear thinking about what would have happened had it been at night while we were sleeping.
It's a huge behemoth of a fridge and we had to get it outside,with every heave and hoe, new wafts of smoke emerged.We finally got it outside where it stands sentinal in the middle of the yard.
it's 35 deg c today, what to do with all the food? I've got two esky's and we'll just have to keep buying ice until we can replace the fridge. Insurance informed me I have a $500 excess...What? it should be $300 (they won't leave me at 0 or 100 as I make claims). They are looking into it. Meanwhile I have to source a fridge and make a list of all the food we lost or will lose due to the heat. it's going to be 37 tomorrow and 40 on sat. The earliest we can get a fridge here is Wednesday...the joys of living in the country.

But it could have been worse we could be sitting in a smouldering pile.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

all over bar the shouting

I ...can't ....move....

eaten...tooo ....much....trifle.....

Feels like we have been constantly eating or drinking since Christmas Eve!

Had a lovely day with the kids...........day might be stretching it.

We didn't get up till 10.30 when Gemma arrived, and then Danny wouldn't get up, he'd stayed up all night playing xbox or watching movies- whatever teens do all night. Eventually Gemma irritated him out of slumber and by the time everyone was organised ,showered and cuppatea'd it was midday. We put the food on and opened our pressies .Chloe and Jess arrived after their long ride down and so more swapping of pressies.It's our favourite part of christmas and everyone puts in a lot of thought into the pressies,even more so this year as there hasn't been as much money for everyone ,so everyone really thought hard about what to get each other with limited funds.We bought one big thing each from Bali when we were there,things we could not afford here, and in 2 out of 3,probably could not source here.Danny we gave motocross boots as he has his own bike.Gemma we had made a queen size bedquilt with a handpainting of Marylin Monroe.We had a large portrait of Chloe and Jess painted from a photo, amazing quality and they loved it. When I can get a photo of it,I'll post it here with details of the artist.

We ate, and we ate and we ate.
And drank, well I did, everyone else had to drive later in the day.

It was 31 degrees c ,which was a shock as we've had such mild weather,I put the air con on, but too late most of us were already asleep or sleepy,so wherever you could lay your head was napland.

Around 7 ,they all nicked off. Chloe and Jess had to ride back to the capital ,we weren't sure when it was going to rain. The people on the Hume heeded my request about cigarette butts, but on the Barton Hwy, she got hit by one, she had her visor up.Thank god she didn't flinch or jolt and send the bike into a ditch, she just calmly pulled over and let Jess have a look at it. It gave her a shock, no marks.How frightening, I can't even imagine hurtling through "space' at 100km hour and BANG, hit in the face with something hot. Bad enough bugs but burning embers..ouch!
Gemma pinched my beer and went home to spend some time with her housemates and Danny headed off to the next country town over to visit friends.

now to save for next christmas



Happy New Year :)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Silly Season is here

Merry Christmas everyone, as we celebrate the buddha (Rohatsu)ooops the birth of Jesus with the rehashed pagan Babylon "the feast of the Son of Isis". It was celebrated on December 25. Raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving were traditions of this feast,so I'm glad we stole that part too.


We Put Christmas lights up again this year,it's only 8 sets of lights and a lightup santa but it looks a lot because our frontage is so tiny. We have one of those federation railway cottages with the bullnose verandah and 4ft square of grass iether side of the path.Our street goes for 5 blocks and there are several houses with lights,so it earned a street sign that proclaims Santa Street. I live on Santa St !!!

Have been cooking and wrapping pressies all afternoon and evening, now it's all done bar the shouting.

I've made potato salad, a potato,bacon,egg and onion slice, potato bake,2 trifles, the hams been cut and the lollies are out.Hubby has organised his prawns, made his usual fried rice,has the turkey breast ready for the oven in the morning and is doing a potato bake, he does his more dry and crispy with chunks of bacon and onion,so i make a small garlic creamy one as well. If Danny eats all the slice tonight I'll have to make another one in the morning,but other than that I really only have cream to whip. I have a pavlova shell to do too, but I don't think we can fit another thing in the fridge.

seems like we have a lot of spud dishes in there !!

Then theres the KFC,when the kids were little,they were fussy eaters,and takeaway was a treat,we rarely had it,so they chose KFC for xmas,and it stuck.It's a tradition now apparently.So it's chicken, nuggets, potato gravy and coleslaw.

I'm happy as a pig in mud,all 3 kids will be here for lunch,Danny lives at home,Gemma around the corner and Chloe and Jess will be riding down after a big Christmas breakfast with her parents.I meant to take their bigger present down to Canberra with me last week for them to put under their tree, but forgot, so they will open it and have to leave it here ,till I drop it over in a few weeks time .

They have decorated the bike with tinsel and a Merry xmas sign, don't know if it will last the 120km trip at 110km p/hr, fingers crossed , it looks fun.

Don't throw your cigarette out the window if you're travelling the Hume tomorrow, they hit hard when you're on a bike...and they burn!!!

Anyhoo Have a lovely christmas, Hanukka,feast of the Son of Isis,Lenaea,Dies Natalis Invicti Solis,Alban Arthuan, Inti Raymi ,Shab-e Yaldaa,Soyal,or Appolo, Attis, Baal, Dionysus, Helios, Hercules, Horus, Mithra, Osiris, Perseus, and Theseus Day.


Thanks for reading and following :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

This poem resonated with me ,as it has with a lot of people, it has 61 comments so far.

It can be found on this blog :Where the Butterflies Go

I hope someone approaches Heather and puts it to music :)


Words

You’re texting him and he’s texting her;
You know how it goes, mostly a blur;
Calling me geeky, or maybe just strange.
They’re just words,
But they’ll last for days.

You post a photo, a few words, not more;
They’ll laugh so hard when I walk through that door.
Calling me gay; one of the queers.
They’re just words,
But they’ll last for years.

Text it, blog it, put it on Twitter.
They’re just lies. They’re just litter.
You’re a bully on a bus
with a prepaid phone, and words.
Just words.

Is that all you’ve got?

Someday I’ll be stronger, with all this behind me,
Someday I’ll shine brighter, my true love beside me,
And you’ll be paying the same old fare;
Just a bully on a bus marked
Going Nowhere.

In about 20 years, I know the story,
You’ll come up to me with a phony “sorry.”
Wishing you’d made something out of yourself.
They’re just words,
But, somehow, they’ll help.

I’ll smile sweetly, try not to stare
at your sad old eyes and thinning hair.
Seeing the jealousy in your gaze;
You’ll have no words,
No words for days.

Text it, blog it, put it on Twitter.
They’re just lies. They’re just litter.
You’re a bully on a bus
with a prepaid phone, and words.
Just words.

Is that all you’ve got?

Someday I’ll be stronger, with all this behind me,
Someday I’ll shine brighter, my true love beside me,
And you’ll be paying the same old fare;
Just a bully on a bus marked
Going Nowhere

You’re going nowhere.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

On my high horse again

Every so often I dip into transgender blogs and new stories. I can ask Chloe anything and she'll tell me of course ,but I don't like this to be our only topic of conversation. She is so much more than a just a transgender girl, with all the accumulated experiences of her 23 years.

Some sites and stories are full of support and others ,OMG such hatred and ignorance.
Some people will make an off the cuff comment they think is meant to be funny and others make a hateful statement and then sit back and wait for replies....this then becomes their invitation to spout religious or just plain hateful phobic nonsense.

When Chloe first told me of her feelings, there was fear and anxiety. I wasn't really sure where this was coming from , but the thought of telling people was fearful. My friends and family are very understanding people and NONE of them have let me down in this respect. So, where did it come from:? Outside people? People I don't know? Yep, there it is. Not fear for me and what they thought about me or my family really, but a fear for Chloe's safety, her job,she was moving sharehouses,so accommodation aswell. I feared the reaction to her , her person, in everyday life.All I could think of at the time was that their lives are often filled with risks and consequences that most people aren't aware of and because of stereotyping, a lot of people tend to associate transsexuals with prostitution, bar dancing and drag queen shows.

Because of who she has always been I knew that she didn't wake up one day say, "Hey, I think I'll make myself about as miserable as I can imagine , short of setting myself on fire". It hasn't been easy for her, for sure, but she has done this with the usual determination with various things that she's had her whole life. She taught herself a complex 3d animation programme at age 15 and moved 1200km away from family to study 3d at college. She spent her teen years a sensible person with no police on our doorstep . I must have told her to sit still and shut up one too many times cos she did !

So it bugs me when I read comments on blogs and especially news items, that people assume that being transgender is a choice and/or a mental problem.

I hate repeating these, but hopefully someone who thinks this way might stumble across my blog and learn something.
some of the things I've read in the past few days :

There is no such thing as 'trans-gender'!
Gender is determined at birth by your X-Y chromosomes and no amount of surgery (body mutilation) changes that FACT.
"Transgender" is a MENTAL problem, not a physical one. These freaks should be kept away from children.
If someone thinks they are a dog and as a tail attached they still aren't a dog.

All of these statements are offensive to me. One of the angers me to tears.

Life is not all black and white
I can't even imagine choosing a life of struggle but I also can't imagine going against who I am just to make others feel comfortabl­e . I don't have to think about this, but every person born in the wrong gender does.
Discovering yourself ,learning to be that person and love yourself must be hard work in an environmen­t of ignorance. We only have one life that we know of.Better to live true to yourself one second than eighty years or so as someone else's view of who you should be. Especially people who don't even know you personally.
Has anybody with a congenital heart defect made the "choice" to have a bad heart? We don't choose our gender, it is assumed at birth by external genitalia.
Medical science has shown that chromosomes do not necessarily determine physical sex, that a person can be biologically one sex and neurologically another and that gender incongruence is a medical, not purely psychological, condition.Mainstream scientific organizations worldwide, thousands of doctors and researchers agree that gender identity conditions are medical issues, not psychological.It's my understanding, the doctors try hard to screen out the individuals that need to work on their heads before they worry about their bodies.This would certainly apply to the dog tail statement!
The one that makes me furious enough to cry though is the "shouldn't be around children" I just find this a disgusting ignorant and reprehensible statement. I can't wait for Chloe and Jess to have children, they are going to make the best parents.They have a better understanding of what makes kids tick than I ever had. I have made some friends in the transgender community ,they are loving parents,aunts, uncles and grandparents. They are just people , just like you and I.

Educate ,Educate,Educate, I think this is the only way to get the message out there.





Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Barbilou's wonderings answered


A great blog I follow posted some wonderful wonderings yesterday.
Today they had me wondering too and I decided I had wondered too long and had to know too.

Here are Barbilou's questions that had me pondering and asking Mr Google .


Why do only CATS purr? Why don't dogs purr?
Chickens and eggs. How long does it take for an egg to form? If a chicken lays one every day, and you were to cut her open, would she be full of eggs in various stages of development?
How do spiders not get caught in their own webs?
How nutritious is hay anyway? How can animals as big as cows get that big just eating hay?


Apparantly two species of genets purr as well.Genetta tigrina, and most likely also Genetta genetta, had been documented to purr, but other than that only cats .I didn't knw what a gennet was so there is a pic here, so now you know too.apparently they live in Africa.

Dogs don't purr because they dont have the same vocal folds and harmonics on breathing in and out that cats do.

cChicken and eggs ...easy... 21 days till egg ready to hatch :)

On average they only lay one egg a day,so there wont be a belly full of eggs, if it's killed before the first egg is laid maybe there would be the one just starting to form,getting ready for the next day and one on its way out.You'd have to have the timing and the axe just right.

Spiders are clever, they make 2 kinds of webs,one sticky one for catching flies and one non sticky for walking about on. Why don't they get mixed up ? I don't know. Perhaps they do occasionally, but if they do get one leg stuck theres another 7 they can drag themselves off with.

Hay is high in protein and energy so apparently it is especially great for long in the tooth horses and pregnant ones.
People can and do apparently eat oat hay! I wonder if they are as big as horses?
but mostly we eat whole oats...for breakfast. Porridge anyone?

A reputable Hay nutrition site assured me people eat Hay but I cannot find any recipes via Mr Google so I hope this will help.




Monday, December 13, 2010

Chloe blogs

Chloe has her own blog now...I annoyed her enough and she caved? Jess annoyed her and she caved? She hates writing with a pen,so hopefully a keyboard will work :)

I've had a look it's interesting and she writes long sentences like me.....


Trans guide to the galaxy


my reindeer has wheels

not mine but

reindeer cars are everywhere in Australia at the moment.......$25 and your car can look like this!




Saturday, December 11, 2010

Mooching and don't be addiment


I have been email arguing with a moocher.....ahhh they live in a world of their own don't they?

Moocher definition:a person who sponges off others

This particular moocher..Opal(name changed to protect the guilty) is 17 and lives in a fantasy world. My daughter took her in when she was kicked out of home. Opal only had to pay $30 a week rent, help out and put in for food. she missed a week,promised to pay and a couple of weeks later went on holidays for 2 weeks with the attitude ,I'm not there I don't need to pay.

here is our entertaining correspondance (names changed)

ME :I decided to respond on Pearls behalf as there had been accusations of theft and and threats to her.
Hi Opal,
You know me,I'm not a hothead,so I'm not going to rant or swear or anything like that.
I hope you'll listen.
Pearl was good enough to have you there for $30 a week,thats less than most people pay board at home.You know that. i know you put in for food occasionally,but you also had Black there as well a lot of the time.
You do owe pearl $90, thats 3 weeks rent....Just because you went on holidays, doesn't mean you don't owe rent...try doing that anywhere else, it doesn't work like that.
I'd appreciate it if you'd drop in both the $90 and the shirt to my place,you've been here,you know where I live,though if its easier,just let me know and I can come over and pick it up for you.
I'd like you to drop it in by Friday, if you don't have the whole amount let me know,we can work something out.
If you don't reply back and/or destroy the shirt(,that I have heard you have threatened to do), then I will be forced to help Gemma apply at the small claims court to have the money and shirt returned, then it will cost you more in court costs.,but theres no need for that, if you contact me and make arrangements for payment.
the girls are very hurt you have accused them of trying to steal your money, I remember this,YOU left your wallet in the car,and they asked you about the money you owed for rent and you said no,nothing more said or done,so thats not a nice accusation to make.
i'm sorry its all come to this,you all seemed to be good friends.friends and money owed don't mix well it seems.
anyhoo please reply as soon as possible.
thanks

OPAL:
Well he was paying rent as well he gave it bob and i was only gone 1 wk so its 30 and jenny didnt pay 4 ova 6 wks and wen black couldnt pay he helped out around the house and if u new the hole story u wldnt b taking ur daughters side seriously the sun doesnt shine out her arse i couldnt find my wallet when i left for the week on a tuesday and i get payed on a wednesday and no1 would help me look for it they rung up saying they were going to get rent out and i said they cant then i didnt get it back when i came back and they were going to give it to me wednesday after they took 30 out for rent what they said not me so why take your daughters side take this shit to the small court or whatever and you will get laughed out of there and out of town

ME:
opal,
ok, about Black paying rent.his rent was also supposed to be $30 and out of approx 12weeks that you two lived there, he paid $15-20 at at a time for 4 times,so technically he owes rent as well. Your rent is from the 2 weeks you were away..yes 2...and also a week you had missed 2 weeks before this and promised to catch up on.
Also,the cleaning in place of the rent...there was not much cleaning up done, black seemed to make himself absent when the cleaning was to be done, yes he helped out a couple of times.
jennys arrangement with pearl has nothing to do with you paying your rent or not,she is slowly paying back the money, but thats not really your business, you can't not pay what you owe because someone else owes money as well.
I don't class this as "taking sides" Opal,just getting back what Pearl is owed,I've known you have owed her this money since you left for you holiday without paying it. I know fullwell Pearl is not perfect,none of us are, but she has a good heart which some people seem to think means they can take advantage of.
Your wallet wasn't found until after you left, they let you know they found it in the car and had put it in the glove box. I understand they asked could they take the rent out because you had been paid in the meantime,you said no.I'm sure they weren't happy, but you said no.They told you the wallet was in the glove box of the car so they wouldn't lose it and you got your wallet when you returned.
I've been to small claims court before,they won't laugh...it's for small claims.
so I would appreciate the money by friday,thanks Opal.

THE LOVELY BLACK:
This is black i was there just over a fucking month it was one week we wernt using Pearl for fuck sakes we have no problem paying but not when cunts lie about it your not getting the full story and as for me dissapering thats bullshit i left cause jenny was in a cunt of a mood we did fucking clean even when we were leaving this is the pettest shit i have ever heard of so you should get your facts one hundred percent before accusing this shit obviously you aint getting told the full truth i payed Bob my rent i helped out were i could and pearl was bitching bout jenny not paying her fucking rent for 6 weeks not opal for one no me for however many so im pretty sure you can jam your thirty dollars rember you dont like this town you were on the news for it so if you hate the town get out of it im over petty cunts shit goodbye

ME:
nice one Black, ive been here 5 years now,that tv thing was in the first 6 months we lived here and was meant to be a funny story about us moving all the time,ont hat it has anything to do with anything.
sorryBlack,pearl did say to me tonight that your arrangment was with bob,not her,i was just mentioning it for an example.
pearl was complaining about jenny,at the time cos she was in a bad mood as she sometimes gets in,like everyone does, but jennys owings still have nothing to do with Opals. and opal still owes $90 not 30.
all pearl wants is her rent money and shirt after that shes happy to have nothing to do with her or you.
thanks for the lovely language, I've been nothing but nice and polite to you guys on the few times we've met and in these letters.
I personally would like this dealt with and over and done with soon. It is petty, its $30 a week ffs.Its ridiculous for 3 weeks rent at less than most people pay at home


OPAL:
Yeah but we wernt there one week thats thirty one week not two one she can have the shirt but yous aint getting any money


ME
ohh i see, so you "stopped renting"without telling anyone you were leaving and not going to pay rent anymore??? that seems fair...NOT. you have a short memory theres also the 30 you owe for the week you missed 2 weeks before you went away............which is why pearl wanted the money while you were away....i told her this would happen, everyone has said you will never get Opal to pay up...why is that Opal?.

Of course pearls not going to see any of the money you owe her,thats what she gets for taking you in, giving you a bed, free electricity,food, lifts to work and back for $30 a week and you have the HIDE to call her a thief!!!!who exactly is the thief here Opal?

drop the shirt off its the least you can do or you want me to pick it up?

OPAL:
Well i paid for food i paid 50 for fuel and Pearl usd it i didnt even go to work and the wk b4 we left she said no 1 had to pay cuz she was infront then changed her mind so her loss and if u dnt leave me alone i will go to the police 4 harrassment

ME:
bullshit you never put $50 petrol in her car!!!
peal said no one had to pay rent cos it was ahead...bullshit, you lot overheard her talking to me about the rent being in front and so you thought to yourselves," hey its paid we don't have to" ,why should it come out of pearls pocket.
you have all the answers opal. ...whatever, just pay the $30 you have ADMITTED to owing and the shirt and be done with it. About time you grew up and lived in the real world.
LMAO ....me asking politely ,admittedly repeatedly, is not harrasment,Opal.




well there you go my mornings work.....still no shirt no money.......A MOOCHING STORY...LOL


well well, i lose, its my fault she's not paying ...but I get to have a good time :)

OPAL:
You can have the shirt you aint getting any money and i over heard nothing just think i wasnt on the lease and only two people were aloud to live there take this as far as you want you or you could just fuck off cause i would of payed the thirty but you were addimint that it was ninety so you can drop it or you can fuck off



Sunday, December 5, 2010

I'm not sure how or if this will work and i'm not used to begging.I like to think of it more as fundraising for a good cause.
Chloe needs gender affirmation surgery, but cannot afford it. Normally she would just wait and save, but she has a medical problem that will be addressed once it is done, and I'd like it to happen for her sooner rather than later as she is getting depressed and overwhelmed.

I've made a new blog as a donation page, and this post is a reapeat of that new page.

THE COST OF REASSIGNMENT SURGERY IN AUSTRALIA EVEN WITH PRIVATE COVER IS IN THE VICINITY OF $30,000
EVEN TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE ONLY DR IN AUSTRALIA TO DO THE SURGERY COSTS $300 AND THEN THERE IS THE PSYCH COSTS.
CHLOE NEEDS HER SURGERY NOW DUE TO A LONG STANDING MEDICAL PROBLEM WHICH WILL BE SOLVED BY GENDER AFFIRMATION SURGERY.
SHE IS IN A LOT OF PAIN WITH THIS CONDITION AND ANY HELP NO MATTER HOW SMALL WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
IF I HAD THE DOLLARS I WOULD GLADLY PAY FOR IT MYSELF BUT I DON'T AND NONE OF THE FAMILY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BORROW THE FUNDS FROM A BANK.
IF YOU CAN HELP WITH A DONATION PLEASE SEND TO PAYPAL
lbcallinan@bigpond.com.au

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

When being a person isn't enough



I belong to a group of parents of transgendered kids.

One topic that came up recently is using the correct pronouns when transitioning.
We all know that this is the identifying gender...........but....sometimes this is not enough.
Several of the young adults are saying to their parents that they are basically talking the talk,but feel it's not real.
Not real meaning the parent is still see them in their birth gender and "you're saying she but you really see he" (or opposite).

Now I think thats nitpicking. These parents are supportive,loving and doing everything they can to help the transition. There are kids out there that have been shown the door and/or the sole of one or several family members boots and worse.Those parents cannot see their child at all ,let alone the child within the new gender.

Are kids today generally too self absorbed about how they look,how they are perceived etc? does this make it even harder to be in transition or is the self absorption a manifestation of gender dysmorphia?.Are they placing more emphasis on the gender recognition than there needs to be?

I know the struggle to hear the correct words Miss (or Mr) and she (he)when in transition and I do think this is harder in public in general for mtf than ftm.

One thing that was pointed out to me recently is that females are constantly looked at and assessed, whether by other men or other women, what they are wearing,carrying, hair colour etc, its just he way it is, and it can be a shock when transitioning from mtf, if you think everyone is looking at you,they are, not necessarily for the reason you think though.It would be equally a shock I think, from being always looked at to no-one taking any notice of you unless you are half naked or speaking(or both)

I digress.....back to seeing the inner child. As a parent myself, I will always see that inner child in my child. Little Ben lived the life, spoke the words and are now a part of who Chloe is. I don't believe she has denied her childhood even though she wishes that it was lived as a girl.She is a person/human first and her gender is second to me.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Congratulations-Happy couple

Those of you reading my blog know of my daughter Chloe and her struggles,so I would like to share this really happy moment in her life with you. I was in on the surprise, which was soooo hard for me as I can't keep a secret ,so had to keep off the phone or I would have given the game away. As it was she drove everyone around her nuts as she always has around birthday and Christmas trying to find out her presents and such.


We wait for Chloe,she has sussed that there is a birthday gathering ,but even after the 670 questions she didn't twig to the real goings on.to her surprise.....

Jess Pops the questionChloe says yes :)








A picture speaks a thousand words



Chloe ,my middle daughter Gemma and myself.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Books -are you a big reader?


The very first chapter book that saw me hooked on reading was this one. I read it in grade 2.I forgot everything other than the plot and that it started with a j sound and I could never find it again. I named my daughter after this book..........and got it wrong ....she is Gemma the book is Jessamy. Close but not .

searching the internet for plots helped me to find it when my children were little and I found a copy and read it to them,they enjoyed it aswell even though the writing is so old fashioned now, compared to say Morris Gleitzman.

The book isn't on this list,but it's on mine.
Jessamy written by by Barbara Sleigh in 1967 is a children's book that sendt Jessamy through a timeslip into the time around WW1 in England.Through a series of events during the timeslip Jessamy solves a mystery and saves the reputation of an elderly man in the present.


”The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

I counted 49 and couple I dipped into and never finished. Have found a couple on the list that look interesting that'll I find and read, and a few I've forgotten and would love to read again.



Instructions:
• Copy this list.
• Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety.
• Italicise the ones you started but didn’t finish or read only an excerpt.
• Tag other book nerds.”


Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

The King James Bible
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four (1984) – George Orwell

His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy

Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
Complete Works of Shakespeare
Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien

Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger

Middlemarch – George Eliot
Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame

Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis

Emma -Jane Austen
Persuasion – Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe – CS Lewis
The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres

Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
Animal Farm – George Orwell
The DaVinci Code – Dan Brown

One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins

Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

Lord of the Flies – William Golding
Atonement – Ian McEwan
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
Dune – Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons

Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History – Donna Tartt

The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouak
Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy

Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
Dracula – Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett

Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
Ulysses – James Joyce
The Inferno – Dante
Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome

Germinal – Emile Zola
Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession – AS Byatt

Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
The Color Purple – Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry

Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton

Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
Watership Down – Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

Hamlet – William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Thursday, November 25, 2010

some aussie speak

tough cookies = bad luck

brolly = umbrella

chook = chicken
I have chooks in my backyard, they give me an eggaday if i'm lucky


shot through = done a bunk = done the bolt = dissapeared....

thats a bit hot = thats a bit ripe = thats a bit steep = unfair or expensive

a bit more choke and you would have started = u should be flyin around the room = who let the dog in? = something crawl up there and die? =fart

carked it=died

a good few =lots

having a squizz=just looking

talking nineteen to the dozen= talks non stop

face-ache = an irritating person--------- (theres an oldy i havent heard since school in the 70's)

buckleys chance=buckleys and none=no chance whatsoever

uggh boots=sheepskin boots

rooted=just had sex or very very tired

buggered= very tired

turn it up= stop it

suck eggs = ha ha serves u right ...


mad as a hatter.......nutty as a fuitcake........bats in the belfry...sandwich short of a pcinic.......2 cents short of a dollar.......a bit thick...thick as a dunny door....thick as 2 planks...........a fruit loop......

going to rats= doing something really really fast.

bit rough around the edges........>>>>>>>>feral = a person who lives differently to the rest of us
scrubber = female of the above species

I reckon = my 2 cents worth


bloody oath=too right=i agree

Your gotta be kidding= i don't agree

he'll run rings around me= someone u cant keep up with in speed or conversation.

prawn=shrimp

ohhh on ya.... sarcastic thanks NOT


Yanks and Poms= Americans and British.
PERGOLA
had a funny chat with some girls from Canada and US yesterday and they
didn't know what a PERGOLA was. I'll clear it up for you

Pergola = outdoor entertainment area
Its basically a patio, but it can be attatched to the house or
freestanding. A patio is always attatched to the house. A patio can be
without a roof, just a concrete slab or pavers. A pergola always has a
roof of some sort ,might be just beams open to the sky, or covered with
shadecloth or might be very upmarket and have a clorbond steel roof. A
pergola is is always "open ' where a patio can be screened. LOL clear
as mud???


when i go swimming I wear my cossies if I'm in NSW and my togs if I'm in queensland



Randy=horny=feel like having sex


root=have sex


Pissed= very,very drunk..there are stages of pissed ...just pissed, heaps pissed, way pissed,paraletic pissed,passed out pissed.


If you are wondering why soembody is in a bad mood try asking them "whats up with you, you got a hair across your arse???"


to get people to go away, you can tell them to "rack off" ":get lost" piss off""f*** off" or "buggar off"


"dead set"= as a question = really? or as an answer=yep true


if you "get agro" you are really, really cranky and about to hit someone.


"going somewhere this arvo" youre going there in the afternoon


"airy fairy" nosense = talking about religion or can also be talking about someone seen to be "snobby" puting on "airs and graces" thinking a lot of themselves type of person.


"fanny" is not the bit you sit on over here, rather its the female "private parts" so when you talk about "falling on your fanny" or "sweet fanny apples" or something it makes for a "bit of a shock."

oh and we wear thongs on our feet =flip flops

g-string= thong




One time i said Hooray (goodbye cya later) in depression chat room and the person leaving got most upset, they thought I was cheering because they were leaving .....ooops





on that note I'll say hooray
ok that'll do, okey dokey, enuffs enuff,


cheers,

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Do I???

I kind of like taggy things, it's a bit like filling in forms, fill this space. I just like talking really, you can't drown me out ,even on paper.

Here are some answers to the what is and do I questions.
Do I remember?.....my first memory.





My earliest memory must be when I was less than 12 months old, I don't remember seeing anything, but I can still evoke the taste and feel of a rubber teat and rosehip juice.
I have short memories,little glimpses into what I was like as a toddler,demanding and playful.
Having a tantrum,because the batteries ran out while vacuuming with my 1960's toy vacuum cleaner,sitting in a highchair,singing loudly for my supper while banging on the tray,being pushed along in the pram and stopping to pet a donkey and getting roused by my mum for chewing a hole in the satin border of the cot blanket at my nonnas.

What is....the dish you most often eat?
at the moment that would be home made pizza. Once a fortnight ,we buy all the bits and pieces,a few packets of lebanese bread for the bases and sit down a make a couple of dozen and freeze them. They have come in pretty handy since daylight saving,I forget to look at the time, so at 8pm,they've given up waiting and we have pizza cos its quick.Method in my madness?......maybe...







Are you a runner? Jebus..No...I can barely walk without falling over...............




First and last band you saw live...........ohhh now I'm going to show my age. First band was The Angels at the gorgeous Enmore theatre.....I think it"s gone now,burnt down,but anyhoo,it was there when I was. I won the tickets on 2sm radio.......remember Ian McRae and disco chook?
2sm was THE radio station of the 70's,with the Top 40,and Frank Hyde calling the footy.
The last band I saw were actually 2, The Reels and Mental as Anything. It was in a smallish club in the days when you could drink and smoke inside. They packed the place,it was hard to breathe, and I'm a smoker, I remember worrying about fire and leaving early...heading somewhere else to see a band that never made it...The Singles.

Looking for photos,I can't believe I found ANYTHING about The Singles.They ad one indie single out in 1980 that I and about 17 others actually bought.The did play it on JJJ...twice....It was called Someone that I knew ,I probably still have it in a box in the shed.











do you ever wear bike pants?
you will thank me when I tell you...no.........having been on a bike maybe twice in my life...theres no need....thankfully!










Saturday, November 20, 2010

about me


Totally self serving blog today.

I've entered a comp to win a holiday to Ireland.
Only problem is ,it needs votes. I had a quick look a the first few pages of entries and there was only handfuls of votes, I think 21 was tops...then I looked at the leader board....I have to beat 327 votes somehow.
I don't have this many friends even on Facebook!
This couple is about 200 votes ahead of the next highest, they must be harassing friends, neighbors and all and sundry...........so I thought I'd give that a go,
Consider yourselves harassed and BEGGED .


Here is the link, if you have a spare 3 minutes PLEASE vote for Bernadette and Les.You need to signup to the websiet to vote but yu can leave the email box unticked so the leprechauns wont clog up your inbox. We don't deserve to go to Ireland any more than the next person...but it would be fun to win ...and dammit I want to beat someone who has 327 friends :)




Thankyou !Thankyou!..if I win I'll send you a postcard ^.^

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Whats a girl to do?

Being born with parts of anatomy that don't match the chemistry in your brain is not a personal choice, not only is there a public stigma but it seems a beaurocratic one as well.

As you know my daughter is a transgender girl. More than a year in now and it's a pleasure to see her so happy. What would make her happier though is to have the surgery to give her the rest of her female body, this doesn't even take into account that she has long had a medical problem that this surgery will end once and for all.

Herein lies the problem. Money. It costs at least $10,000 dollars to have the surgery presuming that some item numbers are covered by medicare.
It seems there is only one doctor in Australia at present ,Proffessor Bennet,who is capable of this surgery and has retired from the Public Hospital System.
He recently offered to do suregery on a young biological woman born without a vagina, but NSW health will not allow it.Apparantly she can go through Sydney Childrens hospital as a public patient but the doctors really don't have the expertise for this surgery.He has treated 130 girls in the past 5 years, the birthrate is 1 in 5000.

If this is the case for bilogical girls with genital problems, where does this leave the transgender community male or female?
There is a 2nd doctor,Ass. Proffessor Grover who is away o/s training and will not be back until 2011. Even if he operates in a pbulic hodpital there is still the high cost of surgery because of medicare and what is covered and what is not.

I cannot find statistics for transgender numbers , the statistics I did find are grim ,suicide 1 in 5. The turmoil this group of people go through is incredible.They are fighting what their society tells them they should be and look like, discrimination, ridicule, families who feel personally affronted.
Why is it so hard in our society for people to get their head around the fact that some peoples brain and body don't match. Especially men, I don't understand how they are threatened by this.There is not some secret enclave of transgender girls out to trick and shame them somehow and funnily enough the type of male that is so offended is the guy these girls never wanted to be let alone hook up with.
Discrimination for being transgender is illegal in Australia, but in day to day living and getting on, it doesn't seem to matter, try finding a job, accomodation , giving your female name out with a male sounding voice , the 2nd and 3rd looks etc.
There have been some wins in our story though, very early in transition, just after Chloe had changed her name,she had to go to Canberra hospital for surgery.I have to give Kudo's to them,they were so professional and understanding,no raised eyebrows ,funny looks,they addressed Chloe as Miss and used all the right pronouns,that put me to shame at the time...I was just learning, and it's soemthig I will always rembember.It was extrememly encouraging for both Chloe and I, esp considering the nature of her problem and how early in transition she was. Her employers have been excellent,one would wish all employers so enlightened.

But back to surgery. It is about time that in this country SRS surgery is covered in its entirety by Medicare. Just recently Young Bridget Clinch appeared on SN and Sunrise and highlighted this issue. Bridget is in the Aust Army and had to fight to have her surgery covered my medical , she fought them and won as she will be a good Captain male or female. Thats a very simplified sentence describing her journey as it is her story to tell, but Bridget does highlight that this surgery is free in the Defence Force and in the Prison system in Australia. And borrowing from Bridgets reasearch several other countries fund SRS the UK, Canada, Iran and Cuba.
Its about time Australia follow suit.
So this is my bandwagon, feel free to jump aboard, I've started letter writing to the Health Minster ,the PM etc If enough of us write and mention the Australian Human Rights Commission report 2009 's reccomendations for transgender ,then we might be able to force changes.

I must be getting shorter, it's taking me longer to jump down from my soapbox lol




Tuesday, November 9, 2010





We, being me ,Les and Gemma left home the day before our flight out as we live 5 hours from sydney and stayed at the formula1 in St Peters,Sydney.This is where Les grew up,so we took a snapshot of him outside the terrace house he grew up in.
We flew Pacific Blue as we got such a cheap flight, but ,it's a bit like going to Bali on a bus, not very comfortable and Les's back was screaming by the end of the flight,other than that uneventful and boring as you have to pay for entertainment but we arrived half an hour early.
We had booked the contraversial VIP service with worldsafarisbali and probably didn't need it, as being early ,we seemed to be between flights and it didnt seem as awful as last time. Getting off the plane on the tarmac and bussed to the terminal is a novelty, but it beats how it was 23 yrs ago when you had to walk across to what was a tin shed surrounded by machine gun weilding polisi.
We were to look for a person with a sign with our name on it once we got to the terminal, no sign, but we looked confused so they found us anyway. We were out in about 10 minutes into the sea of smiling dark faces and name cards. Again we had to find a card with our name on it and pay for the vip service........and..... I saw a card with our name and off we went....with the hotel driver. I completely forgot about the VIP people until a knock on the hotel door about 8pm that night........sooooo embarrassed and gave them the extra rp they asked for to cover petrol.

We stayed the whole 2 weeks at LumbungSari in Legian. Its a small quiet hotel, one of the older ones, it needs the rooms refurbished but we didn't care. Our requirememts were comfy bed, clean, airconditioned with a pool and to house all 3 of us on a budget as Miss Gemma was on a tighter budget than even we were . We did have intermittent hot water during the day and the foods not the best but the staff are lovely and I enjoyed it here just as much as the brand new All Seasons .It's very "Bali" in architecture and friendliness compared to the modern hotels where you could be pretty much anywhere in the world.
The first night we went to Goodies for dinner, its my favourite place for pizza. It was exactly the same as last year, frienly and great pizza. We decided to walk along the beach road home, and thus began the quest for vegemite for Gemma as we stepped into all the little supermarkets.
Every other step we took brought us another hawker, by the time Les got back to hotel he had half a dozen light up toys and a wallet that bursts into flames.
The quest for vegemite was like finding the holy grail.

We ate a lot of the time at the warung kartini, in three brothers lane,it doesn't look much decor wise, but the food is freshly cooked,yummy and cheaper than chip sandwiches at home!

We had a nice chicken curry at Je-Jes jsut at Padma Utara end of the lane, love their banana pancakes and a take away milkshake in a plastic bag is a hoot.good value for money and nice staff. wish they would bring back the music,to get the place busy again.


WE did the Rick Stein thing and went to IBUOKA.. well I can say I've done it.I found it too spicy to taste the pork really, but leaving our shoes in a pile with all the others and sitting on the floor was a novelty. Thing is after eating here, a few hours later hubby got sick, really really sick,vomiting, temp,runs etc. we both ate here,luck of the draw? its the only place out of the ordinary that we ate at,only one with out a "proper" kitchen and food out in the open up until that time.And you have to sit on the floor so you're using your hands on the floor, we do use the hand sanitiser....but... luckily we had some of those new specific for travellers belly antibiotics with us and he recovered in about 2 days.

We went out to the Beach Shack at Canguu, its lovely out there,pretty rice paddy scenery on the way.
We had arranged to meet a girl I went to school with from way back in 3rd class ,when she was the new kid. Her husband and 2 of her children were with her as well. It was absolutely amazing to catch up with her after all these years and it must be something about us Heathcote girls that we can just pick up where we left off and none of us seem to worry about who's got what. It's great.
We ate the tables just above the beach, shame we had cloud cover as the sunset would have been gorgeous.It was still pretty the little bit we had. The food was ok, nothing spectacular, but it was a great night until it rained.
Going back to Legian we had need to use their transport which is a set rate, it was 100,000rp back to legian.........funnily enough a faster trip back than getting there which cost us 85,000 after we got lost twice lol
.

We went to Pizza hut of all places but its so different to australia. we all really enjoyed the meal here and went back for takeaway lol pastas are scrummy, pizzas are very different esp the choice of crusts...i had one with chicken sticks,tasted better than it sounds. They also make nice mocktails and fruit smoothies.


why oh why do we not have JCO donuts in australia instead of donut king???? so light so fluffy, like fairy floss with icing lol i won't tell you how many i bought :O

In our room somehow the the bathroom door had locked from the inside we told the staff and they scratched their heads as you have to actually turn the lock to lock it,theres nothing loose that can just fall into place. So lots of balinese chatter and the boss sends 1 guy to have a look. Theres no gap where the door joins the wall so their first thought of knife or credit card didnt work. Are you sure theres no one in there?,they ask. nope.. all 3 of us here.
Another guy comes along. There is a brilliant idea to do the equivalent of the coathanger in the car door trick. The door itself is on the front right of the bathroom as you walk in....so walk in face left and about 13 feet away is the wall with the cement brick window up high. Theres two up on the ladder with a long pole which they poke through the window and wave about trying to open the lock. The door is 13 feet and to the right of the window away and a target of about 10cm. We're hearing chatter, cheers and dissapointed sighs...............2 hours later, they decide to take the frame off the door,which left a gap for them to slide the lock open, remove the lock and put on a new one which took about 15 minutes!
Enough entertainment ,we headed off to Mataharis........Caught a taxi to Mataharis.....who knew there were two? so we caught another Taxi to Mataharis...

Lots of shopping to be had here, DVD's clothes etc......helps if you don't leave the shopping in the tax and wave it goodbye! I lost 13 DVD's leaving the bag in the taxi.luckily they're only $1.20 each.

We went out to tahna lot, ubud, the safari park this trip, we saw these things last time, but it was great to show Gemma.

I hope Gemma had a great time, she said she did,even though it was with us oldies , she did get one night out at Apache for her 21st, came home tipsy on the obligatory motorbike taxi .

we had too much shopping and had to get my friend to post some things back for us.
flight back wa uneventful,boring, though they did give gemma whatever she wanted to eat for free as it was her birthday. long wait at the station for our train and finally home....long 24hr trip.





Things I noticed this trip :you can a get a cab down to the bottom of jn 66 to legian beach for those restraunts BUT try to get one back!!!! There are several there waiting all the time and they refuse to put the meter on and want anything from 50-100k to get you back to legian. We just walked till we found a blubird or jumped straight into one where someone else was getting out or just hoof it.

it rains when its not the rainy season lol

there is no vegemite in bali.......trust me, we looked!!!



Now saving for the next 2 yrs to get back again